What I found out while I was away…

The first and last mistake you will ever make; making eye contact with a stranger.

It’s harmless, but you have just opened yourself up for conversation, whether you wanted it or not. You get their story whether it’s true or not. The truth is never really important when it comes to strangers. You can fool other people, but you cannot fool yourself.

You run from your problems, fast and far. You are certain you can forget it all and be just fine. You’re numb in this place where you find yourself. You feel, but not fully. Though you are happy on the outside, your insides are crying. You resist it as long as you can, but feelings aren’t meant to be held in. That’s one thing I found out…

Owning your thoughts and feelings is the only way to survive in this world. Words are temporary, but true feelings last forever…

Honeygirl.

I sat there and cried tonight because I already miss you. And as I looked through teary eyes, all I could see is you crying, last night, after I sang you a song. My tears mirrored yours. My sniffles were yours too.

When you press your face to glass do you feel me there, like I do you? I know every little thing you do and what it means. I miss having someone around I know better than the back of my own hand.

It’s clever for one to think that if I look in the mirror I can see you, but that’s not even close to seeing you. The times I see you the best I am holding you close and listening to you talk. My eyes can be closed for me to see you. All I need is to feel you are near me and I can see you, even if you’re just near me in my heart.

So even if my eyes are making oceans with tears and I’m no where near to hold you, I still see you. I packed you in my suitcase heart.

❤

-G.

Heart, where are you?

Last time I saw my heart, I left it there on my sleeve for you. I think. Remember I wore that floral dress? That was the day my heart went missing. It never left a note. No trail to follow. Not a word. Never bothered to even write a letter or postcard to tell me it was safe.

When I listened I heard your heartbeat, so I know yours was there. You still had it, even then. Alive, but it was bruised, I could see. Hearts always mend. And one day mine will come home.

I am aware.

Your feelings are worn, tired, and tested. I feel the pressure and I feel the space. I stopped counting the days. They all roll into one now. They have no beginning or end, because you are not in them. I constantly say things I wish I could take back. I wonder if somewhere I took a wrong step that caused you to no longer be there when I opened the door. I open the door still. Always looking and waiting.

I see the past like an open sore mending itself, but leaving a scar. Will I see the face that bears the scar of a thousand years once more, I do not know. That fate is left up to the feet and hands. The body that will take it where the mind once longed to be.

I always say that love always has a way, even if it spends much of it’s time lost in a valley. Valleys are warm and soon you must climb the mountain out of necessity. When you get to the summit you will be delighted again. Slide down the otherside to where love lies. That is where I’ll be waiting. Mountains were meant to climb and people to be loved. Always remember the true words of your heart because when we are gone our love is what is left behind.

-G.

(a million tweets and facebook statuses all rolled into one meaningless piece of unliterature.)

You’re welcome.